Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
