What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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