i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
