i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
