:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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