I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
