Need sex. Gaining weight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
