he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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