Kiss
Puke
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
