But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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