I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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