Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
