he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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