so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
