Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The uberlube is also flammable
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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