I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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