Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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