I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
