Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
