That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
