I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think I am morally bankrupt
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
