there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize