you suck at this game today
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound