It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER