we have officially lost it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.