You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
