I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she told me i tasted like america
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Randomize
