I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
