..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
