I just made out with a guy for $7.
I bet he comes in French.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
