He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize