it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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