I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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