you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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