that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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