Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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