maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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