(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
