i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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