And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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