Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
