If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
