I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
