"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I faked an abortion last night.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
