Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Too much gin, very little bucket
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
