Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize