Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
