Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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