Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
