3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
