We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
