I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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