I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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