Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
