her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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