I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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