I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
PANTIES FOUND
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