Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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