Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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