what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
