He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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