I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
