Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
