Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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